Dear Birthmother,Thank you so much for taking the time to begin to get to know us. We have been longing to be parents for many years, and we are grateful that, through adoption, we’ll have a chance to share our love with a wonderful child. Although we have not had a chance to know you at this time, we already feel moved to think of your courage. We know that you are considering how best to make sure the life you are bringing into this world is loved in the same way you would love and cherish your child. The sacrifices you are making and the choices ahead of you may seem overwhelming. We can only imagine that you have so many dreams for your child. As you consider us as possible adoptive parents, we will be grateful to know if there are particular hopes you have so that we can do our best to both love your child and fulfill your dreams for him or her. When a child joins our family, Robin will care for the child at home; our pledge to you is that we both will give your child our love and devotion. Our names are Pat and Robin, and we began our relationship 13 years ago working at the same Goodyear Service Center where I was in sales and Pat was the Service Manager. I used to peek at Pat through the service window, and although I was never caught, he did start showing up in the lunch room at the same time as I did. From there we started to date and found we had a lot in common and so much we could teach each other. Here we are 13 years later. We have been married for 9 of those 13 years. I was very open and upfront with Pat when I explained to him that I believed it would likely be impossible for us to have a biological child on our own. We tried several times with IVF treatments and we realized after many unsuccessful attempts that a child we’d give birth to was not in our reach. I feel strongly that God only gives you what you can deal with and that he was saving us for an adoptive child. We purchased our home from Pat’s parents 4 days before we were
married. (They wanted to move to a different area of the city, still
close by, and we were hoping to buy a two-family house.) It’s
amazing sometimes to think that Pat grew up here with a brother and
two sisters. The memories Pat holds and shares of four kids running
around the house, playing hide & seek, having pillow fights and
writing their names on the attic walls have us so excited to bring children
into a home that already holds so many wonderful memories. With a large
fenced in back yard, it seems to be the meeting place on summer afternoons
and nights for our family and neighbors to meet. Everyone reminisces
of their childhood in this neighborhood, as no one seems to ever move
very far. Our home is already filled with so many memories and we look
forward to creating more happy memories as we share our joy, love and
close, large family with your child. Our school system has many diverse opportunities for all children, and our family parish, where we got married, is within walking distance. This is of great importance to us because this is also where we are planning to send our child to school. By following in the same footsteps as Pat as a child, attending the same school and parish, we hope our child will grow up with a strong sense of family, community, and religion. We have been attending services together at our parish since we have been married and are planning on attending the children’s service on Sunday mornings where all the kids, both young and old, are involved. The college fund we have begun is the beginning of our plan is to give every opportunity to our child to reach their potential and teach them to strive to be the best person they can possibly be. Having a strong sense of community is how we both grew up. Pat and
I decided long ago that if we were blessed with a child, I would be
a stay at home mom. Our local community center has Mommy & Me classes,
arts and crafts, and many opportunities for a kid to just be a kid.
Swimming lessons are offered at the local Y, which is very important
because in the summer we spend time at the beach which is within walking
distance to Pat’s parent’s summer home. Our nieces are now
1 and 2, which means there are so many toys and kids activities that
we needed to put up a play tent in the back yard. Of course the adults
spend plenty of time in the play tent as well! I grew up in a small quiet town. I am the middle girl of two brothers.
We all enjoyed music and played in the band and orchestra when we were
younger. Every Sunday, we went to church and attended youth group. Some
of my fondest memories are marching the 4th of July parades in my home
town and hearing my mom and dad cheer me on. My parents, although both
working, gave us every opportunity as individuals to explore, make mistakes
and grow, and I want to pass those same opportunities on to our child.
I just can’t seem to hold in my excitement over someday holding
a baby of my own. Although I enjoy my job, I am looking forward to being
a stay at home mom when a child arrives in our family. Robin about Pat: I am still amazed sometimes at how lucky I am to have married such
a wonderful man. Pat can be sensitive when need be and make me laugh
like no one else. Through our infertility treatments, Pat has been my
rock, often putting his feelings aside knowing how much I needed to
either talk about what was happening or just cry about the disappointment.
But through it all, he never wavered in his devotion to me and to the
dream of having a family. Pat is my best friend, and I know that is
why we are able to see this dream and hope to one day have the family
we have dreamt about. About Pat: When I was old enough to get a job, I began working at the local grocery store. Even then I enjoyed tinkering with my old car and that led me to the career I have today. After graduating from college, I began working at Goodyear Tire & Rubber where I had advanced to a position of Service Manager running the day-to-day operations and overseeing 10 mechanics. After 17 years at one company, I was looking forward to expanding my job role and I currently work as a mechanic for the Police Department. My primary role is a diagnostician. My job determines the ongoing computer issues on a variety of police vehicles that are used in our city. Once diagnosed, the car is sent to another group of individuals who perform my recommendations. I have been told having this skill is invaluable to the Police Department as it ultimately saves time for other mechanics who might otherwise struggle with their work and it helps return the police cars to the streets sooner. When not working I still enjoy tinkering and fixing up old cars and restoring them to their original condition. I have restored a 67 Firebird and also a 69 convertible Firebird that is great for the summer time. Running is my main form of exercise and I compete in some of the local races and triathlon that our hometown has. I have always thought having a child would come naturally. Unfortunately, Robin and I were not blessed with this and although we have done several IVFs we know that although that has made us a stronger more loving couple, to complete our family we would need the help of someone else. Although currently we do not have any children, I am the Godfather to my brother’s daughter and I am also the Godfather of my sister’s son. This honor holds a special place in my heart. Pat about Robin: Often I think back to when I first met Robin and still today wonder how I could have been so lucky. She is compassionate, funny, and understanding as well as being my best friend. It was so difficult to see her go through as many IVFs as she did and still have such a strong spirit and a good heart. I truly think most people would have let the disappointment cripple them, but she handled it all and became a stronger person because of it. Her love of children is apparent every time a child comes in the room. She is our nieces favorite and there is always a “Where is Auntie Robin?” whenever she is not around. The cookie jar is always filled for that time when a little someone just drops by. She is always thinking of the kids and wants them to be happy. I don’t think I can even express how wonderful a mom she would be. I watch her with our nieces and nephews and look on, hoping one day she will be as happy with a child of our own. We want you to know that we will always let your son or daughter know how much you care and how difficult this was for you. The love you have is what gave you the strength to help another couple complete their family. We hope you will be reassured by knowing your baby will be raised by two people who will give all the love, caring and special attention two people possibly can to another life. Regular photos and letter updates of your child, either directly or through the agency is something we would be happy to share. Making sure you know your child is growing up happy and loved is important to us. We want to know what would help you feel reassured and appreciated over the years; because we truly think a child benefits from receiving all the love they can from everyone who loves them. We’re open to you sending birthday and holiday presents and staying in touch, if that’s something that would be meaningful for you. We want to share our love for each other with a child who will be brought
into a home of laughter, love, understanding and caring. We are so excited
that you are possibly giving us the opportunity to fulfill our dream
of becoming parents. Thank you for being such an important part of our
dreams. Sincerely, |